The Tree

 

When I was growing up, we never really took any amazing vacations.  There were a few camping excursions and one memorable rip to Martha's Vineyard, but for the most part we went to Iowa.  My father grew up in a very small town in Western Iowa and most of his 6 siblings stayed in the area.  Every summer we would pack up whatever small car we were driving at the time and head due north.  It's amazing to think about now. There were no DVD players or PSPs to keep us entertained.  My brother and I mostly fought, played roadside bingo, or just stared out the window.  We loved visiting the small town where no one locked their doors and we could walk to the corner store for candy.  My grandmother (Nana) and Aunt J would cook wonderful meals and many, many homemade pies.  Oh, the pies! For many years, I never missed a visit.  For the last two summers I haven't been able to go because of a lack of time off or the fact that I was giving birth, like I was last year.  Thanks to the generosity of my parents, we were able to purchase three plane tickets and so we headed to Iowa!

L enjoyed the airport and the airplanes.  He had a major meltdown as we landed, but it turned out he had a dirty diaper and we didn't know it.  (He was much better on the return trip.)

We stayed with my aunt and uncle on their farm and I think the kids thought that one of their books came to life.  There were tractors and cows and barn cats.  L went fishing and made friends with a very patient black lab.  There were lots of walks with Dad, too.

One of the things I really wanted to do was visit the big tree.  This tree has been around for years and years.  My father played in it, and so did I.  I was so happy that I was able to bring my kids there. I hope that my grandchildren will someday play there, as well.

 

L and E made themselves right at home and had a great time.

The hassle of flying with two kids was huge.  I think we will be driving, if at all possible, for our future trips.  However, once we got there, I was so glad we made the time.  Now that I am lucky enough to have kids of my own, I realize how much the trips to Iowa influenced me.  The hardworking, down to earth people in this small community are a part of me and a part of who I have become.  It brought me so much joy to see my aunts, uncles, and cousins playing with the kids.  Every time I visit, I never want to leave.  This time was no exception. 

One Year

Dear E,

One year ago you came into the world and made our family complete.  I admit that I wasn't really ready for you, but the moment we met you we knew that you were the missing piece in our lives and hearts. We have never looked back.

The first year of your life was full of a lot of change that you aren't even aware of.  Through all of it you were a happy little baby with nothing but a smile and a giggle when we needed it the most.  Your brother is fascinated with you.  He always asks about you when you aren't around and even though he sometimes tips you over or takes your toys, I know he loves you very much.  I think that someday soon you will both be conspiring against me!

                                                      

Your favorite pastime is eating.  You also love music and start to dance any time you hear a tune.  I can't go anywhere without having you in my arms or at my feet, which is sometimes hard because you are one big girl!  Climbing is another one of your hobbies, but we can sometimes talk you into sitting in a chair and drawing. We haven't been able to talk you out of eating the crayons, though.

I was always afraid that I wouldn't be a good mother to a daughter and I still have that fear, especially as you get older.  I can already see your personality coming through.  You have just the right mix of happiness, curiosity and skepticism.  I hope you keep that and I hope you always know that I love having a daughter.  As much as I would love to slow time just a little,  I cannot wait to watch you grow into a toddler, a girl, and then an amazing woman.  Happy birthday, little one

                                                         

May Update - Forward and Back

In many ways, May was a month of progress.  We unpacked more boxes and M was able to do a lot of small repairs around the old house so we can put it on the market.  Unfortunately, I had to stop running in order to give M time to do that.  I felt like ti was a huge step back and I miss it.  The lack of a regular babysitter is beginning to be a problem.  Despite all of the unpacking we've done, it feels like our house looks just as terrible.  Is it possible that the pile is growing??  

The very end of the month took a turn for the comically awful when we bought a new van.  The night that M drove up to try to jump on a deal for a vehicle we really wanted, he broke down on the way there.  By the time he and the truck limped to the dealership, the van had been sold.  He left the truck there for repair and a good friend rescued him.  It was no small favor since the dealership was about an hour away.  The next day,  he went out a bought a 2010 and we gave up on trying to find the perfect deal.  I know I swore that I would never own a minivan, but it's very nice and extremely handy.  I have been assimilated.

Even though I had to stop running, I managed to lose five pounds in May!  I did this by being stressed out all the time and being much more strict with what I eat.  I reduced my portions at dinner, quit drinking my glass of wine (no drinking on weeknights only - I'm still human, after all) and I have a can of soup for lunch every day.  I also curb the snacking, which was not hunger related, by chewing gum. It is amazing how much better my clothes fit and how much more enjoyable it is to face myself in the mirror.

My goals for June:

Keep Losing Weight! - I am only a few pounds from my initial goal weight and I want to keep going.

Keep Unpacking - I know the bottom has to be there somewhere

Go to the Doctor and Start Running Again - I jammed my toe into the door a few weeks ago and it's still swollen and painful.  I think it might be broken.  I need to take care of that before I can run again.  Oops.

Escape

At first I thought that maybe something was wrong with the debit machine at the store, but when it didn't work a second time I knew that something was amiss.  A call to the bank confirmed that my card, or it's number, was stolen and Visa (thank you, Visa) shut the card down and did not allow any further charges.  The woman at the bank asked me if I had recently been in the Dallas area.  When I told her I had not, she said that the location must have tipped them off.  I was curious, so I asked about the places they tried to use the card.  It was nothing exciting.  A few food places in the mall and Wal-Mart were all they could muster.  Didn't they want to have more fun?  Didn't they try to buy a fancy dress or treat everyone to a round of drinks?  Wal-Mart was the best they could do?  Even though I was very, very glad that no money was actually spent by these criminals, the fact that such a mundane mix of stores called for an alert depressed me.  I am so boring and so sedentary that I really only ever go to two places: HEB (groceries) and Target.  That's it.  Other than the occasional clothes purchase, my monthly cell phone bill, and the daycare check, my bank account would put you to sleep.

At work and amongst my friends I hear talk of summer vacations.  Everyone has a great plan, whether it's the beach or Disney or a cabin somewhere.  I am not ashamed to admit that I am jealous.  I was jealous when, as a child, we only took one trip per summer in the car to Iowa.  We would visit my dad's family, look at the farm, swim in the lake, and go home.  I swore that when I had my own family I would take trips and drive to the beach and have lots of fun in the summers.  We are only going one place this summer.  You guessed it - Iowa.  We are going on a plane, though, so at least there won't be a long drive to endure. 

I want to be the trip people.  I want my facebook status to say "We decided to take a last minute trip to the beach!  What a great weekend!"  We aren't those people.  We are stay-at-home-and-do housework people.  We are take care-of-the-yard-and-blow-up-the-inflatable-pool type people.  Just once, though, I would love to have the time and financial freedom to take a short, last minute cruise or drive to the Hill Country to see what we can see.  I don't want to leave my life or my family, I just think we need a little escape.  Of course, maybe I should just stay put.  They might shut my card down again if I leave the area.  I guess I better go warn the bank about the Iowa trip.

April Update - Stalled

If you want to know more about The Plan and why I'm doing this, go here! You can also visit The Plan's blog!

April was an ok month, but by the end I just sort of felt like I wasn't really getting anywhere.  From a weight loss perspective, I didn't lose at all.  I am trying really hard to get back into my eating routine, which is not where I am now.  I did continue the running and it is going pretty well.  I haven't run in a week because of a nasty cold, but I will simply repeat the last week and go from there.  That is one of the nicest features of the Couch to 5K.  It allows life to happen while you're training!

We have made a committment to work really hard on unpacking boxes and sorting throughout junk.  I took several bags of clothes to the Goodwill and mailed a lot of baby and maternity clothes to people I know who can use them.  We still have a long way to go, though, and I have to try very hard not to get overwhelmed by that.  Family time has been going well.  We went to the zoo last weekend and L hugged a "dolphin".

                                                          

A good time was had by all.

I am hopeful about this month, mainly because BOTH kids are sleeping through the night.  That's right.  It is a day that I never thought would come, but miracles do happen.  Actually, getting E to sleep through the night was easy.  There were a few cry-it-out sessions, but after two nights, she was fine.  L has finally adjusted to his new bed and room. He does have bad dreams, sometimes, but he's not up two or three times a night like he used to be.  It is amazing how the knowledge that you will get to sleep without interruption improves your outlook and ability to handle just about everything.  I didn't list it as a goal, but I'm writing about it because I think it qualifies a a major accomplishment!!

Ok, the goals for May:

1) Get back to clean eating. I want to recommit to my points plan and identify the things that cause me to make bad eating choices.

2) Keep running!

3)Keep unpacking.  If we can stay focused on the weekend I think we will be set in no time!

4) Scrutinize expenses.  We recently got a terminal diagnosis for our current kid friendly car.  It needs more repairs than it's worth, so we're looking for a low-mileage used vehicle.  We're looking at a Toyota Sienna or a Honda CRV.  We are lucky enough to have money saved for just such an occurrence, but it's still a major money hemorrhage, so I need to examine our expenses this month.  I'm mainly going to concentrate on the grocery bill, since we really don't go out.  I still think we waste too much food and I know that there are things in the pantry that we need to eat.  I was an avid meal planner, but got away from it, so it's time to get back on track. 

What are your goals this month?

The Almost New Me

If you are visiting from ICLW, please read the "about me".  It's great to have you here!!

I never struggled to keep weight off until I was about 30, which was when I got married and got off the pill.  I guess I should have known at that point that something was wonky with my hormones  The second I stopped taking them, I started gaining weight.  Until that time, I was that girl you hated.  I could eat anything and not gain a pound.  I ate like a bird most of the time and never worked out.  Ever.  (I get mad at myself just writing that!)

After L was born I was able to lose the pregnancy weight fairly easily and even lost an additional 15, thanks to Weight Watchers.  It's a different story this time.  E  is 10 months and I am still 6 to 7 lbs away from my initial goal weight and 13 or 14 pounds away from my ultimate, ass-kicking weight goal.  I can see it, I can sense it, but I just can't get there.  I think my lack of motivation is caused by stress, certainly, but some of it is the newness of the struggle.  I don't know how to actually diet.  I am terrible at it.  I have discovered that I have absolutely no willpower.  I don't eat fast food or have a pound of chocolate every night, but I know that the bowl of cereal that I sometimes (ok, often) have at 9:30pm is NOT helping. I like chips and I enjoy adding bacon to my food on occasion. 

This week I start week 4 of the Couch to 5K program.  I have not run on a regular basis since I was in high school and although my almost 35 year old body complains, it's going pretty well.  I am so proud of my dedication to this, if I do say so myself.  If I could just get a handle on the food part, I think I would be in business.  Here are my ideas to kick this into gear:

1) Recommit to Weight Watchers
2) Plan weekly meals again
3) Don't eat unless I'm hungry (this is gong to be really, really hard)
4) Eat fruits and veggies for snacks

So, what else?  Have you done this?  What were your techniques to fight the diet sabotaging urges?

Sisterhood

When I entered the ALI community, I wasn't sure what my journey would be or who I would "meet".  I was fortunate enough to come across JJ's blog and when she organized a group of IF pen-pals, I signed up immediately.  Three years later, my journey has changed quite a bit and I know that I never could have made it without the wonderful Braces Bunch.

As we struggle with sleep issues in our house, I spend most days in a zombie-liek state.  It's Seussgirl to the rescue!  I received a wonderful package in the mail with lots of good things to help me wake up a bit.

                                                       

E tried to take the chocolate covered coffee beans.  Think again, my little night owl!!

                                                       


I am so thankful to have these wonderful ladies in my life.  I count them all as friends and I hope we stay in touch for years to come.  Happy Anniversary, Braces Bunch!!!