I really want to be a better historian for our family. I want to scrapbook and digital scrapbook and put together photo albums and generally preserve every moment. I'm just not that person, though. I have yet to do baby books for the kids and we couldn't get our shit together enough to send out most of our Christmas cards this year (sorry). I had to take a hard look at what I really need to concentrate on right now, which is school, and just make peace with the fact that things will be pushed aside until that is done. The bad part is, this time is taking place when I should be enjoying the kids. Ever since E was born I have become hyper-aware of how quickly this time is slipping through my fingers, and I try desperately to record it in some way. The toddler years bring changes daily and I always feel like I struggle to keep up. Thanks to blogging and Flickr I can go back and piece together events enough for a baby book or album. My friend Maura got me a One Line a Day book, which I really love. The 365 blog I started for the kids is another way I plan to chronicle this time, but it's hard.
L will be three next month, which is probably why the rapid passage of time has been on my mind so much. I came across some photos of him as a baby and it seems like it was so long ago. I remember holding him and just staring for hours. I had a baby! I also remember having sobbing break downs at 2am when breastfeeding was going really badly. I felt so alone. I wish I could have reached out more to lessen the stress. I know I missed out on some really special moments because I felt so overwhelmed.
For the past few days I have been thinking about the parents of the little girl who was shot in Arizona. I think about how her father's job as a MLB scout must have taken him out of town a lot. I think about how he must wish he had those lost moments back. Obviously, you can't live your life expecting the worst to happen. You need a job and a way to support your family, but when the kids spend more time in daycare than with you, it makes you wonder if there might be a better way. There must be a way to find balance and a way to handle everyday stress and not let it overshadow what's going on in front of you. The truth is, the biggest obstacle to really living your life is life itself.
Have you started to use the One Line a Day book yet? How do you like it?
ReplyDeleteI'm in the same place as you - desperate to preserve memories but hopelessly out of time.
It is so hard to keep up, try and remember everything. I only got about half of my Christmas cards out this year, too.
ReplyDeleteI love to scrapbook, but honestly, I've never made it past Miss O.'s 2nd month...and she'll be 7 in March! I keep saying I'll do it, but when?
((HUGS))
I can totally sympathize. M will be 12 (TWELVE?) next month and it is so hard for me to look at him and remember him as a toddler. Looking at pictures of him from those times is bittersweet, especially during the years we were desperately trying to have another baby.
ReplyDeleteI do find time when I can to document. I am in a scrapbooking club that meets once a quarter for an all day crop, and I carry my flip camera everywhere. But, sometimes it is better to just put down the camera and just BE.
I have not found that balance yet, but I try.
Oh geez, I couldn't have said any of that better myself. Talk about reading my mind and my heart.
ReplyDeleteI also started a one-line-a-day journal. It's actually just a weekly planner and I write a few thoughts/memories/funnies each day about each kid. Takes me 5 minutes tops, and I've already found myself searching for the moments. It's really changing the time for me...I find myself enjoying it. And even though 10 years from now I might not remember what some of my notes meant, they're there and it made an impression.
Thanks so much for stopping by. I appreciate the support! :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd, I hear you about wanting to capture these moments. It's so very hard. As the moms in my moms of multiples group always say: the days are long, but the years are short. Which of course makes it hard to find the time to do this despite how quickly it all goes by. *sigh*
I try to take my camera everywhere but sometimes I purposely leave it at home so I can enjoy just being there with him. I keep all the pics on an external hard drive, organized by year and month. Then it makes for creating a photo book easier since I don't have to figure out the order, that it was there already.
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone! I haven't done baby books for my kids yet either. :(
ReplyDelete