I don't know what it is, but I just can't get into Christmas this year. It's not like anything is really wrong. I still have my job, the kids are fine, and M still has his job. Compared to a lot of families in the space community, we're doing pretty good. Still, I just don't have that happiness that I usually do during Christmas. My shopping has been non-existent and I'm not even sure we're going to do cards this year, which has been a real sore point between me and M.
I really thought that 2010 was going to be the best year yet, and in many ways it's been one of the hardest. I feel like I struggle to balance everything going on much more than I did at this time last year. Many of the things that are stressful are temporary, namely school, but my job is always on my mind, as are money and time. How did I let it get away from me? I know I need to make some changes and, despite my resolutions to share some responsibilities, I have taken on most of the household chores and child rearing responsibilities again. So, I am going to fix that.
I only have to work two days next week and then we leave for my hometown on Wednesday. I think I just need a damn break, but Christmas isn;t always the best time for that. I'm still worried about my mom, but it will be nice to have everyone together. I hope something kicks in because this humbug feeling isn't fun.