The Frustration Cycle

L got rotavirus.  Somewhere in his infancy I must have flaked or been too tired and scheduled his check up too late and he missed a vaccine.  Let me tell you, I wish I could go back and get that shot because this is not fun.  There was no fever or throwing up, just lots and lots of poop.  It has totally set us back in potty training. He has a terrible rash and is asking for diapers.  Not good.  Even before that he was still having one accident per day. His friends are transitioning to the next classroom, but he can't join them until he gets potty training down.  I'm so frustrated with the situation and I feel so badly for him.  The doctor gave us some prescription probiotics, so I am hopeful that they will work.  If I had known that probiotics came in prescription strength, I would have asked for them a long time ago because this virus has taken over our life and I am tired of thinking about poop.

I have a theory that everyone's life goes in cycles of frustration.  There are times when we are chugging along, making progress, and generally having a good time.  Then, there are the other times.  There are the times like the last few weeks, when everything is a struggle.  Everyone is in a bad mood, doesn't feel well, and is generally not happy.  I know this is normal and is expected when you are raising toddlers, but what I struggle with is the feeling that I hit a wall and that all of a sudden nothing works.

I just need to keep going.  What else is there to do?  The hard part is not to compare your frustration cycles with others.  When someone is on the upside of their cycle and planning a vacation that does not involve seeing a relative when you know that you're not going get a real vacation for years, it's hard not to compare.  When you are still living with tons of boxes, your oven is broken, and your dishwasher can't be used due to plumbing issues, it's hard not to look wistfully and someone else's neat, fully functioning house, and compare.

The really hard part is accepting that life isn't like Parenthood.  Wouldn't it be nice to live in a beautiful college town in Northern California with tons of family around to support you and problems that seem to either resolve themselves or at least take a break after an hour?  Wouldn't it be nice to look pretty when you cry and have witty, rapid conversations with your spouse while cooking a big meal in a gourmet kitchen?  Yes, it would. Instead I hear M's voice yelling "HELP!" from the bathroom and then I wish I had a bio-hazard suit to take the underwear that L just soiled out of the house.

The good thing about the cycle is that it has to come around to the upside eventually.  I just hope that the cycle moves quickly because I'm running out of hand sanitizer, bleach and patience with the universe.